Mixed motives - what's stopping you?

I write every day. Lots.  I write to process my thoughts. I write to remember things the children have said or done. I write to remind myself of the things God's teaching me and showing me. I write to help 'tame' my thoughts while I pray.

Mostly I write in my journal. Privately. For no one else to see.

But some of the things are good things that would encourage others if only I would share them.

I know that God wants me to share and pass on the encouragements I receive and that one way I can do this is by writing this blog.

So many different things stop me from doing this such as perfectionism and feelings of unworthiness.  But another barrier I have is that I have a secret desire to be a successful writer and blogger and would love to have a great following of people who read what I write. But that is really a motivation of pride and a desire for myself to be great rather than for God to be exalted.  And so I don't write in order to prevent myself chasing a self-glorifying goal.

However, this morning something jumped out at me from Philippians 1.  Paul is writing from jail about how his imprisonment has caused other people to start preaching the gospel.

He says, "It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of good will . . . The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition . . . but what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true.  Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice' (Phil 1:15, 17, 18).

 I saw from this that God in His great power and wisdom can use people who are preaching about Him even from mixed motives. Even when they really want to be great themselves, He can use them telling others about how great God is.

So even though I may still wrestle with my own desire to be great, I can still keep pointing to God and telling others how great He is and God can still use that while He's still working on my motives.

Thank you God that You can use us even when our motives are mixed up. Help me keep telling others about how great You are even while You are still working on many things in me. Amen.