"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" Ecclesiastes 3 v 1
In December the word 'seasons' kept jumping out at me in my Bible reading and in other things I read. Also the word 'rest' seemed to be highlighted. I felt God was speaking to me about a season for rest and for spending time just being with him.
Although it felt pretty scary to do, I am taking a two month break from as many things as I can (i.e. I have not stopped doing the washing or picking the kids up from school but I am not leading Sunday school or any other groups). The book The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst really helped me with saying 'no' to these things in order to pursue the best that God has for me in this season.
Anyway, this has really helped me have head space to examine the things I think, believe and the way I act. I have realised how much I live burdened down by guilt, fear, insecurity and depression. And that doesn't match up with the good news of the gospel. God wants me to live loved, joyful, free and secure.
I have spent many years with a very negative soundtrack in my head of criticism which I even thought was the right Christian thing to do: that humility meant thinking I was rubbish. Becoming a mum just intensified my daily sense of failure. I realise I'm probably not alone in feeling this way.
I am on a journey of learning to replace that soundtrack with words that God speaks over me. I'd like to share some more about that in some other posts.
Father God, thank you for loving me exactly as I am - even in and through my failure, weakness and sin. Your love is immense and unstoppable. You know the worst about me past, present and future but You choose to love me and there's nothing I can do I about it!
Thank you for your great kindness and patience with me. By your grace, may this blog be a channel of your hope and healing to those who read it.
Thank you that the power for transformation is entirely yours and does not depend on us. All the glory goes to You. Amen.
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