What am I supposed to be doing?

The answer to that question is something I have agonised over long and hard many times, but ever so more intensely since becoming a mum and finding a huge range of options before me. I want to share a couple of quotes that have helped me with this question recently.

The first is a quote from Heidi Baker:

“All fruitfulness flows from intimacy.”

This is something Heidi frequently says. She talks of the importance of time spent in the ‘secret place’ with the Father. She knows what she is talking about as she spends hours daily with the Lord and is seeing thousands coming to Christ and many miracles in Mozambique.

I always want the ‘quick fix’, the instant answer. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it! But there is no short cut to intimacy. It is simply developed through regular, daily investment of precious time with God.

My relationship with my husband has continued to grow, deepen and develop through our ten years of marriage. I loved him so much when I married him but I couldn’t have the same depth of relationship with him then that I have now because that has only come through sharing our lives together.  My husband expressed amazement just the other week that he is still learning new things about me! I guess that’s a life long journey and one we can have the Lord as well.

The second quote is from a sermon by Bill Johnson:

“It is the Spirit of God that takes the simple things we do and makes them supernaturally effective.”

The word ‘simple’ really jumped out at me and I realised that actually God is not asking me to do anything complicated or work out some difficult instruction. I don’t have to find the exact right thing to do and do it perfectly to be used by God.

The core thing God wants me to do is spend time with Him, deepening my relationship with him, my love for him and my knowledge of him.  And then really I just need to walk on into my life and it will be natural to share out of what I’ve received when spending time with him. 

By spending time in His presence, I will carry some of that into the way I respond to people and situations in my day.  In some ways it doesn’t matter so much what I am doing but who I’ve been with that makes the difference.

Jesus, you died to bring me into relationship with you. Help me put that relationship above running around thinking I’m doing things for you. Teach me what it means to seek you above seeking instruction, information or direction; to want to know you more than I want to know what you want me to do; to stop thinking everything has to be achieved by my effort; to stop wanting to look good in others’ eyes; to realise seeking you is the most valuable investment of my time. Amen