My Father is the gardener: lesson 4 leave space for God to work

I am always wanting to do more in order to be impressive.  I felt like God showed me a picture of him having cleared a 'bare patch' in the flower beds and planted a small seed there with designs that it should grow into something beautiful over time if the space was kept clear.

And there I was rushing in with some brightly coloured bedding plants I'd bought cheaply to 'fill' the space.  It looked instantly pretty and colourful but it was crowding out the space for the other plant to make a start. The bedding plant flowers soon die away but what God wants to grow will last many months, seasons and years.

Father forgive me for filling my life with the cheap, quick and easy 'bedding plants'. Help me slow down, give you space to work and allow for that which is worthwhile in my heart to take time to cultivate.  Amen

My Father is the gardener: lesson 3: the point of the garden

Maybe this is not news to anyone else in the world except me, but it honestly is something that's only just begun to dawn on me:

Gardens aren't just about work. They're about enjoyment.

I tend to think of things in terms of whether they are useful. So I tend to think of the 'use' of my garden as being a fun and safe place for my children to play.

I've tended to think of gardening as another 'to do' on an already long list of things I ought to be doing but am not.  For me the point of gardening has been:

So I'm not too ashamed of the disgraceful state it's in when people come round.

Well, how about I stop looking at the mess, overgrown and untidy weeds and stop and look at the beauty that is there in spite of my neglect?  How about I enjoy the roses and the lavender and the poppies and give praise to my Creator who made them?

And how about I apply that to my life too?  How about I look at, see and enjoy the good things God has put there? The beauty that is there in spite of my sin and brokenness. And rejoice in the fact that God still wants to spend time in my garden and says he delights in me.

My Father is the gardener: lesson 2 the beauty of the secret garden

'the more you let yourself compete and compare, the more you forget your own calling'
Ann Voskamp

When I read blogs of women with 6 children (why is it always 6?!) I feel an instant 'failure' in my heart that since I had my second child I've never felt our family has been in a good enough 'place' to cope with adding a third.

I see photos of women's beautiful houses, read of their accomplishments and instead of rejoicing in all that God is doing in and through them, I let it speak negatively to my heart that I've not lived up to their 'standard'.

By dint of the fact that I'm reading their blog, they are a 'successful' blogger/writer and usually a speaker too. Jealousy springs up in my heart.

Then God gave me another 'garden' picture about it.

These big impressive Christians who reach thousands through their words/art/lives: they are like the gardens that you can visit at stately homes. Thousands of people wander through and enjoy and admire the beauty.

Then you come to think of the straggly plot at home. Oh dear. No one is going to come to admire the beauty there.

But then I heard God whisper, "But I delight in visiting my secret gardens too".  There is a beauty and specialness of a private garden that a public garden cannot offer.  A more hidden life is like this - not so impressive to others maybe has it's own unique beauty.

God doesn't want all his gardens to be the same.  He does want his gardens to be places where He is welcome and where we let him be the gardener.  And when we finally stop rushing around trying to impress and live up to a million standards that we were never meant to reach, we can let him show us the unique and special garden he wants to make of our lives. And the result will be beautiful.

My Father is the Gardener Lesson 1

I laugh at the thought of writing about gardening because I am the worst gardener. However God has recently been showing me a number of different things about how he works in my life through the metaphor of my heart as a garden that I feel are meant for sharing here.

So here is my first 'gardening lesson'! :-)

Lesson 1: A process of gentle unfurling

I want gardening to be like on those TV programmes where they send the mum away for the weekend, rip out the old garden with a JCB, stick a brand new one in and she comes home and cries with surprise and delight at the transformation.

About one or two days a year I attack our garden ruthlessly, pulling up anything I suspect of being a weed (i.e. 90% of the contents of our flowerbeds). The next morning it looks kind of bare but (comparatively speaking) amazing.  But of course it doesn't last because the enthusiastic weeds just spring straight back up again.

Similarly, I want God to 'zap' my heart in a 24 hour makeover. Just take a digger, remove wholesale all the junk. Bring in a whole new set up. Then I want to be 'sorted' and to joyfully and without struggle perfectly serve the Lord for the rest of my life. I guess in garden terms that would be producing different beautiful colourful flowers in each new season, no weeds, no maintenance required.

But gardens don't work like that. They are an ongoing process.  They are a slow, gentle unfurling and unfolding. They cannot be rushed.  A garden is never 'finished' because each day, little by little it is growing and changing. New flowers open up, new shoots appear and new weeds sprout up as well. With each new season there are different tasks (so I'm told!).

A really good gardener just does a little each week, working with nature: trimming at the right time; dead-heading at the right point; considering when a straggly plant needs to be uprooted and something new planted there.

So it is with our lives. Each day we need to yield ourselves to the Master Gardener. Let Him have his way in our lives.  Sometimes that means something that is good becomes too 'big' in our lives and needs cutting back. Sometimes, something beautiful that once flowered in our lives, has had its season and we need to submit to him removing it because only then is there space in our garden for the new thing He wants to plant.

And so Father, I submit to You as my Gardener. Help me be patient with you and with myself as I let you gently work on the ever-changing landscape of my garden-heart. Help me be content not to be 'finished'. Plant what you will. Uproot what you will. I think I want an instant makeover but I know your ways are wisest and best. May my garden-heart be a place You love to be, enjoying the beauty you are unfurling there.  Amen

Simple things

What keeps stopping me writing my blog? Pride and selfishness.

I want what I write to be Something. To be Life Changing. To be Mind Blowing. To be Impressive and make me look Very Spiritual.

But the stuff God says to me is very simple. It's not new. It's been said much better by others many times. But. I keep needing to hear these simple things again and again.

And maybe, me writing these Simple Things will just be a reminder to you that God has said these Simple Things to you before as well.  But like me, you forget.

And God in His incomprehensible grace and mercy reminded me patiently again: I love you.

And asked me to write it on my blog so He could remind you again too: I love you.

Yes, even though [put here all the reasons you come up with why you think He shouldn't love you].

So from here on, I commit myself to write Simple Things. Things that have been said before and said better. But things we forget in the all the loud shoutings of life, the world, family, work, media and our thoughts bombarding us every day.

So here I offer my Simple Thing for today:

God says "I love you".   To you.  Yes you.

And He means it.

Rooted

Recently God showed me I was like a tree that was stressing and striving “I want to bear fruit! I want to bear more fruit!” in an urgent hurry. God replied, “Stop trying to bear fruit and focus instead on putting your roots down in Me, drinking the water of my life-giving Word. The fruit will then just naturally come.”

There are a number of passages in scripture that use the image of us being a tree. Here are a few of them with my reflections on them:

How do I put my roots down and become a fruitful tree?

⁷ “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
And whose hope is the Lord.
⁸ For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,
Which spreads out its roots by the river,
And will not fear when heat comes;
But its leaf will be green,
And will not be anxious in the year of drought,
Nor will cease from yielding fruit.  (Jeremiah 17:7-8 )

By trusting in God. Believe His Word. Hold on to His promises. Walk in obedience to His commands.

By hoping in the Lord. Don’t let myself get bogged down in circumstances around me. Lift my eyes to consider how great He is:

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
² My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.  (Psalm 121 v 1-2)

If my helper is the one who made heaven and earth, what is there that is too hard for Him?

¹ Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
² but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers. (Psalm 1v 1-3)

Walk in His ways.  Don’t get sucked along with the crowd, to ‘fit in’. Instead, ‘keep in step with the Spirit’ (Galatians 5 v 16) The first three verses show a progression from walking, to standing and finally sitting, which to my mind shows a growing comfortableness with the ways and company of those who are walking contrary to God’s ways.

Delight in the law of the Lord. Recognise the Bible for the treasure it is: truth, wisdom, love, instruction, comfort, God’s words to us.

Meditate on his law day and night. This is only really possible by memorising scripture or having it written up in places you will keep seeing it and reading it. This gets it in your heart and will help you more clearly discern whether the path you’re taking is in step with the Spirit or the wicked.

¹ “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ⁴ Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.  ⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15 v 1, 4 -5)

Abide or remain. It sounds too easy. Too passive. Yet (for me at least) letting go of my own effort and allowing God to have his way in me is hard. I want it all to be done straight away and so I strive to ‘hurry up’ God’s process! Of course, it doesn’t work.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,

They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendour.  (Isaiah 61 v 1, 3)

Jesus came to rescue us. Why? That we will be ‘oaks of righteousness . . . for the display of his splendour’. Our growth from seeds to saplings to oaks is for His glory. It’s His work in me that transforms me and therefore all the glory goes to Him.

Accepting who I am

The final lesson I’ve been learning from this picture of a tree is to accept who I am. There are many different kinds of trees planted in many different places, at different stages of growth and fruitfulness. I tend to look at other ‘trees’ and think ‘I should be like that tree’, ‘I should have fruit like theirs’ or ‘I should be planted where they are’. I need to accept being the tree God made me to be, planted where He has planted me and at the stage of growth I am. And to turn my desire to be impressive and fruitful into trusting God, abiding in Him, digging deeper in His word and walking in obedience to each step He shows me, trusting Him for the speed and fruit of my growth.

“My client is not in a hurry”

Reflections on stress, rest and fun

Somehow I’ve always felt like I should be ‘doing something’. Preferably doing something ‘useful’, ‘for others’, something that requires discipline, selflessness, sacrifice and hard work. And the more I do of this the better; so to be rushing around, super-stressed feels extra spiritual.   But I’m realising that the people who were like that in the Bible were generally called Pharisees and they were getting it wrong a lot of the time.

I want to clarify that I think discipline, sacrifice and hard work are important and they are all commended in the Bible. It’s the stressed out rushing around like it all depended on me that’s not.

I was first arrested by this concept five years ago when I read Ann Voskamp’s quote “Life’s not an emergency. It’s a gift.” I realised that I was living mostly like it was an emergency.

More recently I heard a fantastic quote attributed to Gaudi the famous Spanish architect whose plans for the cathedral in Barcelona kept on getting grander and more intricate. Someone commented on how long it would take to complete the work and Gaudi replied “My client is not in a hurry.”  I love that. I am in so much of a hurry to be ‘completed’; for God to have finished working on me. But God is not in a hurry.

In the Bible, the kingdom of God is compared to a mustard seed growing into a tree. It is not a quick, dramatic process but a long, slow unfolding and unfurling over years that results in the amazing transformation.  That’s what God’s work in us is like, a gradual growing that doesn’t seem noticeable from day to day, but over time is an incredible change.

I sometimes live like God created me because there were so many jobs He needed doing. But we weren’t created to simply be a workforce. We were created for relationship. Relationships take time. They are slow.  At the end of my life, more important than the question “Have I been productive?” will be the question “Do you know Me? Do you love Me?”

What does this look like practically? Let’s take reading the Bible as an example. Am I prepared to slow down from racing through the Bible to have ‘achieved’ reading it in a year? Reading it in a year is a good thing but is it at the expense of hearing from God? Am I reading to meet with my Lord – to hear what He would say to me or to tick off something else on my to do list? It’s easy to turn spiritual discipline into accomplishing things in our own  strength to feel good about ourselves. Far better to read with a listening heart, ready to stop and ponder and hear what He wants to show me and teach me rather than ploughing on ‘to get to the end’.

I’ve often thought of rest as ‘inferior’ and ‘weak’ until my husband pointed out that God commanded it in the ten commandments. That brought me up short! That’s how important God considers rest to be. He deliberately created us to need to spend a reasonable chunk of each day sleeping.  Maybe rest, in its rightful place, is actually one of God’s good gifts to us, to be received with thankfulness and enjoyed as His blessing.

Similarly I’ve had a wrong attitude about ‘fun’. I’ve tended to dismiss it as trivial and frivolous. But actually God invented fun. He made laughter. He laughs! When I think of my children and picking them up from school, I don’t ask “Did you work hard?” (although I hope they did) but ‘Did you have a good day?” I want them to have had fun and enjoyed their day, not simply to have learned in drudgery.  It’s been quite transforming to consider that God actually wants me to enjoy each of the days He has given me.

God has filled the world with wonderful amazing things. He wants us to enjoy them and have fun as well as knuckle down to the discipline of the hard things. As with all things, we need to walk daily in dependence on God to get the right balance.

Father, thank You for the good gifts of rest and fun that you have given us. I chose to accept them and enjoy them as part of your expression of love to me. Praise You. Amen.