Fear not for I am with you

This morning I woke up with this song in my head from last Sunday's worship at church:

Fear not for I am with you 

Fear not for I am with you 

Fear not for I am with you

Says the Lord

I have redeemed you, I have called you by name

Child you are mine

When you walk through the waters I will be there

And through the flame

You'll not be drowned

You'll  not be burned

For I am with you.

Here's a you tube video of it if you want to listen: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEqeGCW5H8o

As I sang it in my head, I remembered how amazing it was singing that with my church family last Sunday. What confidence and faith I had as I sang it.  What a contrast to how I've been feeling at times since then.

It has been a week of internal battle. I have been feeling 'down' and lethargic. Just wanting to be a couch potato, watch films, eat chocolate (to the point I've broken out in teenage spots!) and procrastinate the jobs I don't feel like doing. 

It's been a week where I look back and say 'How pathetic!' A week where I've broken nearly every resolution I've made. I've wallowed in self-pity about how feeble I am to find myself where I am. The plan was I was going to have changed the world by now.  And here I am just battling to keep any resolution to spend time in prayer and with the Lord.

 

Then as the words of this song went through my head, I realised I needed to preach it to myself. 

I started singing it more purposefully, telling myself not to fear.  Why not? Not because I'm great but because He is great! And He is with me.

I need to stop looking in at myself and feeling rubbish about my faults and failures. If I get stuck there, I just spiral down into hopelessness.

I need to look at my Lord. I cannot win the battle because I am great and strong. I can win the battle because HE is great and strong and He is by my side and He is with me and for me. 

I cannot overcome my pride, impatient and selfishness.  But He can. 

God once gave me a picture of me being in a battle and fearful of joining in the fight, but Jesus came and said "Come and fight beside me. Learn from me and I'll protect you too." The safest place was in the thick of the battle beside Jesus, learning to fight beside him, rather than hiding in fear. 

It's ok that I'm weak. I just have to stop thinking I have to do it all in my own strength.

I need to keep preaching the truth to myself - the reason I have no need to fear is because God is with me.  Hallelujah!

Enjoy

When I first met Lucas, now my husband, I was under a lot of pressure at work and needed to do a serious chunk of  preparation each Saturday for the week ahead.  We so wanted to be together that I would come round to his house and sit at his desk doing my work while he did housework and other jobs.  Every so often he'd come and rub my shoulders, offer me a cup of tea and ask how it was going. I loved it!  But even when he was in another part of the house I still had a wonderful sense of us being together while we were doing our separate work. We just enjoyed being in the same house, even though we were not spending time focused on each other.

So it is with God. It's not that we have to always be 100% focused on Him, although we do need some time like that.  Rather, I am discovering 'doing life' in His company.

I recently attended a church women's "quiet day" during which we were  given some time to be quiet.  As the leader introduced the session I felt the Lord simply said to me "Enjoy".  We were in a beautiful location and were encouraged to explore the woods and lake during our 'quiet time'.

So I went for a walk in the woods and I simply enjoyed it. I enjoyed the quiet sounds. The crunching under my feet. The snapping of twigs. Scuffing debris underfoot. The gentle rain pattering on the leaves above. The sound of other's footsteps.  The quiet serene beauty. The stillness and quiet of trees simply putting roots down and spreading out their branches in grateful praise. Not striving to be the most impressive tree or to be planted elsewhere. Just being who they are, where they are planted and receiving the seasons and provision of rain as God's good and perfect plan.  Not trying to earn it or deserve it. And I enjoyed knowing God was with me and was sharing in my enjoyment of this amazing part of His creation.

Whatever we enjoy is made more beautiful by recognising it is all a love gift from Him. And enjoying it together with Him, knowing He is present with us.

Enjoying His presence.  Enjoying being loved by Him. Enjoying Him.

Just as I want my children to enjoy good things I give them, so my Heavenly Father wants me to enjoy the good gifts He gives.  He also wants me to enjoy Him.  Not to come with guilt, obligation and duty. Not trying to 'tick off' prayer, Bible reading or worship from my 'to do' list. But as with someone you love, to just to enjoy being with Him no matter what we're doing.

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your presence in my life and the many good gifts I receive from you each day. Thank you that you delight in us simply enjoying your provision and enjoying You. Help me to keep remembering to 'do life' with you whatever I am doing.  Amen

God's love is everywhere

One of the things I love about working with pre-schoolers is that it makes you focus on the basic and simple messages of the gospel and makes you spend time reflecting on ways to communicate them in easy to understand ways.   And I find that it does me so much good.  I minister to myself at least as much if not more than I do to them. This is why I highly recommend getting involved with teaching children in Sunday school or some other group.  You may doze through a dozen sermons and not remember much of what was said. But you will remember the truths you strove hard to convey in a fun and lively way to a bunch of children.

So it was for me today. At toddler group, we're simply working through the story of creation. Obviously something I'm super familiar with. Probably over familiar with.  However, this time as we've gone through the creation story I've been doing it with a new focus.

The thing that has struck me is how the whole of creation is an expression of God's love for us.  Today we looked at different kinds of leaves and flowers I'd brought in from the garden.

Aren't they lovely? They are so beautiful.
Aren't they varied? He didn't have to make so many kinds.
Aren't they incredible?  They make food from sunlight, air and water!
They are necessary for us to keep having oxygen to breathe! The cleverest scientists in the world still don't fully understand how they do it.

Just a simple leaf tells me how powerful, wise and loving God is. And we are so used to it we have grown deaf and blind to what it tells us. We have lost the child-like wonder of how incredible it is.

Open your eyes today and look at the things you have become familiar with and take for granted.  Just stop and think about how they got there and why they are there. And take some time to thank the One who put them there - for the love He has for you that caused Him to put them there.

I bow in awe at Your feet Creator God. Your might and power are greater than we can grasp and Your love deeper than we will ever know. I love You. I worship You. I adore You. Amen.

Sow liberally

When a farmer sows seed, he does not count each seed and expect each one to grow to full maturity. He knows that some will not take root, some will be eaten by birds and some will get crowded out by other plants.  So he sows liberally, knowing that those seeds that do grow to maturity will produce a plentiful enough harvest.

It is the same in the parable of the sower where the seed represents the message about the kingdom (Matthew 13:18).  Some seed falls on the path and is snatched away. Some falls on stony ground and the plants that sprout up don’t get deep roots and so wither. Some plants gets choked with thorns. Only a final portion grows to full maturity and bears fruit. Jesus told his disciples that this parable represents the different responses people have to hearing the gospel.

 I have a tendency to feel with evangelism that it’s my job to somehow get the soil ready first or to make sure I only ‘sow’ when I’ve found ‘good soil’.  And if someone fails to respond to the gospel, I can feel it was down to my poor ‘sowing’ or preparing.

But Jesus told this very story while preaching to  a large crowd, many of whom did not respond to his message. And of those who did, the majority ‘fell away’ when persecution came.  This did not mean he shared the message with the wrong people or in the wrong way.  

And so we can learn a lesson about sowing from this: To walk through our lives liberally sharing God’s love and the message of saving grace with others.  And not to let the enemy get in with saying we somehow got it wrong because of the response or lack of it.

Father, forgive me when I let doubt and fear of how others will respond hold me back from speaking of you. May I sow liberally of your love and grace and always remember the job of producing a harvest is not mine.  Amen.

PS I'd just like to add a further word of testimony about the battle to 'sow the seed' and publish what I have written above. I held back from posting this yesterday because I felt it wasn't good enough.   Then today I read someone else's post about a similar thing at (In)courage:

http://www.incourage.me/2015/10/keep-planting-those-seeds.html

I was at first tempted to feel that their post is 'better' than mine and therefore mine not worth publishing. But that goes against the message I've been writing about and what they are saying too!  We need to continue to be faithful in doing small things - sharing simple words of encouragement - even if they are not stunning or world-changing. Each small act we do of sharing the good things God has given us, He can use for His glory.  So I choose to sow the seed of this post and pray that somewhere God can use these words (and/or the words of the other blog I've linked to) to bless and encourage you today.