Fear not for I am with you

This morning I woke up with this song in my head from last Sunday's worship at church:

Fear not for I am with you 

Fear not for I am with you 

Fear not for I am with you

Says the Lord

I have redeemed you, I have called you by name

Child you are mine

When you walk through the waters I will be there

And through the flame

You'll not be drowned

You'll  not be burned

For I am with you.

Here's a you tube video of it if you want to listen: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEqeGCW5H8o

As I sang it in my head, I remembered how amazing it was singing that with my church family last Sunday. What confidence and faith I had as I sang it.  What a contrast to how I've been feeling at times since then.

It has been a week of internal battle. I have been feeling 'down' and lethargic. Just wanting to be a couch potato, watch films, eat chocolate (to the point I've broken out in teenage spots!) and procrastinate the jobs I don't feel like doing. 

It's been a week where I look back and say 'How pathetic!' A week where I've broken nearly every resolution I've made. I've wallowed in self-pity about how feeble I am to find myself where I am. The plan was I was going to have changed the world by now.  And here I am just battling to keep any resolution to spend time in prayer and with the Lord.

 

Then as the words of this song went through my head, I realised I needed to preach it to myself. 

I started singing it more purposefully, telling myself not to fear.  Why not? Not because I'm great but because He is great! And He is with me.

I need to stop looking in at myself and feeling rubbish about my faults and failures. If I get stuck there, I just spiral down into hopelessness.

I need to look at my Lord. I cannot win the battle because I am great and strong. I can win the battle because HE is great and strong and He is by my side and He is with me and for me. 

I cannot overcome my pride, impatient and selfishness.  But He can. 

God once gave me a picture of me being in a battle and fearful of joining in the fight, but Jesus came and said "Come and fight beside me. Learn from me and I'll protect you too." The safest place was in the thick of the battle beside Jesus, learning to fight beside him, rather than hiding in fear. 

It's ok that I'm weak. I just have to stop thinking I have to do it all in my own strength.

I need to keep preaching the truth to myself - the reason I have no need to fear is because God is with me.  Hallelujah!