It's okay to be you - God made you on purpose

So often I listen to a great speaker or read a great book or hear about someone doing something amazing and think "Wow, if only I was a good enough Christian I would be like them."

It's easy to think that great leaders, speakers, writers, evangelists etc have somehow 'earned' their position by their effort.  This is not to belittle their effort, obedience and faith.  But unless God called them to the job, they couldn't do it.  

Joseph in prison couldn't make himself ruler of Egypt.  He just faithfully served in whatever ways he could in his circumstances. 

As Jesus travelled around, the Bible mentions some women by name who went along and helped meet his needs.  But some of them are just referred to as 'and the other women; and we know nothing more about them.  

Were they fulfilling God's call on their lives? Yes!  

Was their call to be famous? No!  

Was their work and service important and significant in God's eyes? Yes!

The widow with two mites is famous, although we don't know her name. God honoured her in this way because the rest of her life was lived loving and trusting God and all of that lead to the moment that is recorded in Scripture.  

Yet how many other widows have there been that have never had their story told down here but will receive great reward and recognition in Heaven because of their great faith, trust, love and service of the Lord in the small unseen things He called them to. 

I'm realising I need to stop seeing Christian leaders as 'better' than 'ordinary' Christians.  Christian leaders are simply Christians following God's calling for them to be leaders.  But God does not call all 'good' Christians to be leaders.  

Christian leaders didn't earn or deserve the 'right' to their position.

Paul says at the beginning of Ephesians:

'This letter is from Paul, chosen by the will of God to be an apostle of Christ Jesus.' Ephesians 1:1

What he's saying is: I didn't choose to be an apostle.  It is what God chose for me. 

Some of the mostly godly women I know have no position of leadership but humbly, quietly serve the Lord in many hidden and unseen ways.

God wants people in all different situations of life to be able to minister to all sorts of different people.

Don't strive for a 'better' calling.  Accept the gifts, limitations and situations God has given you for now and serve Him in that. 

When God told Samuel to anoint Saul as king, Saul was looking for his father's donkeys. In fact he'd spent three days looking and was at the point of giving up trying to find them.  Not exactly thrilling stuff.  But when God decided Saul would be king, God gave Saul the anointing and gifting to the king:

1 Samuel 10:6-9  'The Spirit of the Lord will come powerfully upon you . . . you will be changed into a different person . . . do whatever your hand finds to do for God is with you . . . God changed Saul's heart.' 

God called Saul.  He gave Saul his Holy Spirit.  He changed Saul's heart.  

Saul's part?  'Do whatever your hand finds to do'

Don't try to be someone you're not.  Accept the calling, anointing, equipping and provision God has given you for the place you are in right now and situation you are in.  Just do what God gives you to do.  Serve Him faithfully in that.  

When it is His right timing, He will lead you to the next thing. 

David was anointed as king but it was 15 very tough years before he actually became king.  He demonstrated his understanding of God's calling on his life because he did nothing to try to make himself become king.  He just tried to keep serving God and trusting Him through all the things that happened. 

What is my calling?  It can be many different things, but this is true for us all:

Trust Him in the situation you are in.

Praise Him in the situation you are in.

Serve Him in the situation you are in. 

Let Him lead you on the paths He has for your life. It's ok to be you. 

 Psalm 23: 3

'He leads me along paths of righteousness for His Name's sake.'

Waking up in the middle of an overly familiar verse.

 

When you first start learning to play scales on the piano, you start with the easiest scale - C major. It's the one with no sharps or flats.  Just the white notes.  It's easy.

But actually, by the time I got to Grade 8, I used to find it the hardest.  Why?  Because it was so hard to actually stay awake and concentrating while you did it.  You just fell asleep in a sea of white notes and would 'wake up' with no idea if you had done two octaves or three yet or whether you were remotely on track to finish with your thumb on the final note. 

It can be the same with certain verses of the Bible too.  Do you know the ones I mean? 

The ones you've heard a MILLION times.

They are so familiar that you can barely even stay awake as you read them - 'For God so loved . . . '  - and you zone out because you can't believe there's anything new to hear.  It sounds terrible but it's true. 

This morning I felt like I 'woke up' in the middle of a familiar verse.  And I realised I'd been getting it so wrong for so many years.  

Here is my old 'soundtrack' or 'internal commentary' on Matthew 6:33

'Seek first' - It's hard work Claire. You've got to put the effort in. It's really down to you to try hard enough.  You've got to make this happen.

'the kingdom of God'  - Well this is about people being saved, so I must do evangelism and bring people to church and feel guilty about all the people I've not converted or tried to convert.  I'm really not trying hard enough here.

'His righteousness' - Basically I've got to try really hard to be as good as Jesus.  Which I will definitely fail at. So my duty then becomes to feel guilty about this and beat myself up about it sufficiently to hopefully please God that at least I'm sorry about it. 

'all these things will be added to you' - This means you get a nice, easy, comfortable life with no stresses or difficulties.  This means you will always feel content and cheerful because things will go your way.  If I don't experience this then it's because I'm not doing the first part right. 

THEN GOD DONKED ME ON THE HEAD WITH A LARGE STICK (metaphorically speaking) and gently suggested that this verse actually means this:

'seek first the kingdom of God' - Let go of trying to be your own king and run your own life. Just seek God Himself and let His wisdom guide you. Stop trying to be the boss and make it happen. Just ask Him to be Your King and teach you how to live His way.  His way is generally better!

'and His righteousness'- Actually Jesus offers us HIS righteousness as a FREE gift.  Lay your sins down at the cross.  Ask Him to forgive and cleanse you. And RECEIVE the incredible robe of righteousness He bought for you at the cross.  You don't have to earn it. You don't have to deserve it. Let yourself be forgiven and live in the joy and peace of that. 

'all these things will be added' - Let God pick what things HE wants to add to your life.   His choices are better than ours. Always. 

Thank you God that it's really all about what You do for me.  Help me live in the joy and freedom of that truth. Amen. 

Enoughness

 

    Sometimes new words get added to a family's vocabulary.  Like this summer, meeting up with another family, they encouraged their children to do an 'adventure wee' behind a tree while we were out on a walk in the woods.  We loved this fun, upbeat description and have adopted it for ourselves as well.

    But that is not what this post is about.  I just thought I'd share in case you liked it as well and want to adopt it too! 

   ANYWAY.  I digress.

    Our family runs on hugs.  We are a very 'huggy' family. There has been a lot of change and uncertainty around over these past few months. And we have all needed more hugs more than usual.  

    One day my daughter came to me, feeling down and not really knowing what to do with herself. 

    "I know what the matter is!" I declared, "You have a serious case of 'hugged-not-enoughness'. But it's ok, because I know the remedy."  And she laughed and we hugged and enjoyed some close mummy-daughter time. 

    Anyway, she loved this little phrase and it stuck and so now she will come to me and say, "Mum, I've got hugged-not-enough-ness!" And I'll sigh and say, "Oh dear, not again.  We'd better do something about that."

    My son thought he could adapt it the other day and came to me declaring, "Mum, I have 'screen-time-not-enough-ness." 

    "Nice try, " I replied, "However I think it is rather the closely related disease 'screen-time-too-much-ness'." Which was not the answer he was hoping for. 

    ANYWAY.  I digress again!

    This morning I was reading Romans 10:2-4 (The Passion Translation):

    "although they are deeply devoted to God . . . they've ignored the righteousness God gives, wanting instead to be acceptable to God because of their own works . . . For Christ is the end of the law. And because of him, God has transferred his perfect righteousness to all who believe."

    And God showed me that this is all about 'not-enough-ness' too. 

    This is what the gospel is:  We bring God our 'good-not-enough-ness' and He gives us Jesus' 'perfectly-good-enough-ness'. 

    I have a tendency to beat myself up for my 'not-enough-ness'. To think that post-salvation I am somehow meant to get it all right.  

    However, God offers me His 'enoughness' every day, every moment that I turn to Him.  It's ok to have not-enough-ness. It is the human condition. God knows.  He has made provision for it.  He doesn't want us to struggle on by ourselves.  He made us to want Him, to need Him. He wants to be deeply involved in our lives; loving us and providing for us.  

    So let Him.  Today, bring Him your 'not-enough-ness' and lay it down at His feet so that your hands are empty to receive His enoughness today. 

Everything we need

Yesterday I was grumpy with my husband.  I felt very justified.  I also felt cross because I knew shouting at him about it would only make him dig his heels in. 

Thankfully I went to God with my grumps.  I told Him how awful my husband was.  How he needed to change.  

God listened.  God waited for me to listen.  

Which I did . . . eventually . . . after a good wallow. 

I asked God what I should do.  How could I correct him and show him the error of his ways?

When God finally had my attention He reminded me . . . how much He had forgiven me.  How He continues to love me despite my ongoing flaws and failures.

His instruction was not what I was hoping for:  love him. 

I realised that my own love for my husband was inadequate and that I needed God to give me His love for my husband.

I came across this verse:

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness" 2 Peter 1:3

Oh gosh!  No excuses.  He gives me everything I need to live a godly life.  I don't have to have it myself already. I need to come to Him. He has all I need.  He doesn't download it all in one go for the rest of my life though. I need to come to Him each day - even each moment - and receive His resources for whatever situation I'm in. 

Thank You Father for loving me and for your patience with me. I come to You now, so thankful that You have everything I need and more.  I open my heart to receive Your immense love. Please fill me to overflowing so that I can love those You give me to love - especially my family!!  Amen.

PS Please note that my husband had not done anything more terrible than lose his patience over spilt drinks and bad table manners.  No need to call social services!!

Do it just for Him

Psalm 32:8-9
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Don not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you."

God's guidance is gentle. He instructs, teaches and counsels in love. He does not want to control us like a horse, forcing us in the direction He wants us to go. He desires for us to willingly come to Him, to still ourselves to hear His gentle whisper and that we choose with freedom how we respond to His loving counsel.

I've always written lots in journals. I've always sung lots at the piano. I feel God has said both 'write' and 'sing' to me a number of times over the years. I know there are things He has given me to share. But I get hung up on it not being good enough.

Well, who am I doing it for? The applause of the world? Or the pleasure of my loving Heavenly Father? He is just like an earthly dad who takes great pride in the scribbled efforts of his child because his child presents him with a piece of paper and says, "Daddy I drew you a picture." The father's heart bursts with love and pride because of the love offering the picture represents.

So it is with all our offerings.

He paints the sunsets every evening.  How could we possibly paint anything to rival or impress Him?

He created music, gave the birds their songs to sing, gave every musician and composer the skills they use to make incredible music.

Yet I believe He takes real delight in my writing and singing for Him - however imperfect.

Psalm 32:11 "Rejoice in the Lord and be glad you righteous; sing all you who are upright in heart!"

Sing!  He wants you to sing.  He loves to hear you sing.  You don't have to be an incredible talented musician.  Do it for Him. He loves to hear your voice.

I'm not very techy, but below is a link to a song by Joni Eareckson Tada which is about just this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTXqiodq3ik

The lyrics are:

If I could dance, if I could glide across the floor in perfect time
If I could spin in graceful circles you would find
I'd dance for You Lord, I would dance for You.

If I could sing, if I could lift the golden notes up to Your ears
If I could send the music up for all to hear
I'd sing for You Lord, I would sing for You

Chorus:
But oh, Your love has no limit and when I am in it I can, Lord it's true I can
I know it's not only small things, but I can do all things,
Lord in You I can.

If I could fly, if I could spread my wings and soar through time and space;
if I could rise above the world to see Your face
I'd fly to You Lord, I would fly to You

Each life has a song and a dance of its own
And each heart has the wings and the will to fly home



So - whatever you do - do it for Him. He will love your offering because it is your unique offering to Him. 

Lord this blog post is for You.  May it bring You pleasure Lord.
If You choose to use it to bless others as well, that will be a wonderful added bonus.
But I write this for You, because I love You. Amen

Milk drunk on God's love

Psalm 23 v 5 (The Passion Translation)

"You become my delicious feast . . . you give me all I can drink of you until my heart overflows"

When I read this this morning, I got an image in my mind of a milk drunk baby.  Babies drink milk until it starts to leak back out of their mouths and they are so full they cannot manage any more.  Then they just smile and doze and dribble milk down their chins while their little tummies try to digest it all. They are floppy, sleepy, happy and totally stuffed.

It struck me that God's love is like that.  There's so much more of it than we can manage. But when we drink as deeply and fully as we can of it, we just dribble his love back out from a place of fullness. And there is always more - so much more than we can manage.

So keep drinking!  Get 'milk drunk' on God's love.

Vanish will not be necessary

Foreword: I have a perfectionist streak that would mean I wouldn't ever publish this because of the many flaws I see in it, but I am trying to step forward in obeying God's prompting to write something and to do it without delaying because then it ends up not getting done. So here are my ramblings, which I'm writing with the prayer that they may encourage and help someone who has maybe struggled with the same thing that I have. 

I have a memory of someone (I don't remember who) explaining repentance and forgiveness to me like this:

"When you ask God to forgive you, He washes all your sins away and gives you a white robe to wear, that is pure and spotless because you are completely forgiven of your sins and they have gone.   However, as you go through life, you do wrong things and this is like you getting that white robe dirty again.  When you realise that this has happened, you need to come back to God and repent and ask for His forgiveness again and He will again take your sin away and make your robe perfectly white again."

The problem I had with this was, that I couldn't keep my robe white for very long. In fact, I discovered that the greatest commandment of all is to love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and don't think I've managed to do that fully ever so my white robe was going to instantly start turning grey as soon as I'd finished getting it white again, even without me doing anything!

And so it felt like this. I'd repent (and I was taught it had to be true sorrow for my sin - so probably I needed to cry a bit to make sure I had done it properly). But even as I was given the white robe, I couldn't enjoy it because I knew I was going to get it dirty again pretty soon and I'd have to go through the whole thing again. In fact, it became like a terrible burden. I thought I ought to be so grateful for my white robe that this would motivate me not to get it dirty again but I just couldn't manage it.

Then I used to think "well I couldn't have truly been properly sorry enough or repented hard enough if I repeated the same sin so soon again afterwards".  Then I'd run out of energy to repent "properly" and feel like it wasn't worth it because I was only going to sin again.

I remember being jealous of the thief on the cross getting saved just as he was dying so he didn't have time to mess up again. I wished I could know the minute before I would die so I could just become a Christian then and not have the terrible burden of guilt and condemnation I was carrying around.

I remember walking up my hill to help with a toddler group where we were meant to be reaching out with the gospel to the other mums coming along, but thinking, I wouldn't wish my Christianity on anyone. It is such a terrible burden. I feel so condemned all the time. I feel like God is so disappointed in me.

This past week I've been reading and re-reading Ephesians 1 and trying to get the truth of the gospel back into myself.  Here's what God's infallible word says (I'm using The Passion Translation which I know is just the work of one man, but I believe he just helped me realise afresh the glorious truth of the gospel by expressing the same truth in fresh words - check out a more 'sound' translation to see if it lines up if you're not sure):

Ephesisans 1v 2 "believers . . . have been made holy by being one with Jesus'

If I believe in Jesus, I have been made one with Him. If I am one with Him, I have been made holy.  I'm loving that past perfect tense verb - it happened in the past and it is finished. It has been done. I have been made holy.

How does God see me?

Ephesians 1 v 3 "he sees us wrapped into Christ"

And Jesus is sinless, spotless, perfect.

Then this next verse really is the one that changed my picture from the one I described at the top of the page:

Ephesians 1 v 4 "Because of his great love, he ordained us, so that we would be seen as holy in his eyes with an unstained innocence"

I looked up the definition of 'ordained'.  There were two key meanings:

1) appointed; established; settled; decreed
i.e. God has settled it and decreed that I would be seen as holy in his eyes

2) invested with authority to act as a priest
i.e.  a priest is one who can come before God without needing a go-between.  He made it so that he would see me as holy so that I can come into His presence like a priest.

Those last words - 'unstained innocence' really hit me.  Because if the first picture is right, then as soon as we sin in any thought, attitude, lack of love etc etc then our innocence is 'stained'.  So this verse would only apply to perfect believers (I don't know of any - do you?).

Then I realised - I am covered in JESUS' righteousness.  His righteousness doesn't get stained!  His robe is forever pure. If God is looking at me wrapped up in Jesus' righteousness He does not see my sin.  He does not see stains. He is not measuring my performance.

This does not mean that I can just do whatever I want and it won't affect my relationship with God - 'by no means!' as Paul said.

What it means is that I can truly rejoice in the robe that I am given. It will not need a 90 degree wash with Vanish to keep it white.  Jesus has made it pure and white for all time.

He knew when He died for me, every single sin and failure that I would commit in my whole life and He died to wash them ALL away.  When He died on the cross ALL my sin was in the future. Now some of it is my past but all the times I will fail Him have been forgiven too so I can live in joy and freedom to know that I won't ever surprise or disappoint Him - He knows already.  He chose to love me knowing already all that I would and wouldn't do. 

So when the enemy whispers condemnation in my ear, I'm now telling him, "I have an unstained innocence" in God's eyes.  His loving sacrifice has covered it all already.

Now that is a gospel that IS good news worth sharing.