The year of the stockings

Well it all started in Hobbycraft. I saw a cute little stocking with reindeers on the front and I wanted one. But the stocking was too small. I wanted a bigger one with those smiling reindeers on. And so birthed in my heart the desire to make  a stocking for each of my two children that was ‘not too big’ and ‘not too small’ and ‘just right’. And then I saw the sparkly iron-on letters and now I wanted to make personalised stockings for my children.

So I shared my idea with my husband who said “No. We have stockings already for the children. There is already so much to do. This task is unnecessary.” And he was right. And I agreed with him.

But this desire had got a grip of me and although I had agreed with my husband, I went out and bought the stuff I would need ‘just in case I had some spare time’. And then, with the stuff in my house, my desire to make it grew even stronger and I started on the stockings surreptitiously when my husband was out.  I kept working on them until they were nearly finished before confessing to my husband so that by then it would be too late for him to tell me to stop. (He was very lovely and gracious to me when I confessed by the way.)

When they were finished I was really pleased with how they looked. They’d turned out better than I’d hoped. But they are tinged with sadness now, because of the way I did it.

It’s not wrong or sinful to make personalised stockings for your children. (Although it is not strictly necessary). However, my deceit towards my husband by saying one thing and doing another, and my putting my desire for these stockings above honesty and submission to my husband, that was wrong.

And then when I hung the stockings by the fire place, the children were very excited, but I realised I had made it be all about getting presents and that was not where the focus should be.

So I have since made another personalised stocking that says “Jesus”. I have hung that above the fireplace. And my desire is to help myself and my family to focus on what we can give to the One who gave everything for us. 

Jesus, help me honour You in the way I prepare for and 'do' Christmas. Help me see what is important and what is not. May I give you the gift of my love and obedience this Christmas. Amen.

Post script:
Here is Jesus' stocking and its contents when we pulled them all out on Christmas day.  See my comment below.

Don't stop too short

“You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life. " John 5: 39-40 

It is possible to search the Scriptures and think that life is found in them. To spend many hours in Bible reading and Bible study and to almost worship the Scriptures. But the Scriptures are there to point to Jesus. Life is found in Him. I need to come to Jesus to have life. The Scriptures are a tool to point me to him but if I come to the Scriptures and stop there, I have stopped too short.

Jesus forgive me for thinking that my righteousness or salvation is somehow linked to how well I’m keeping up with my Bible reading plan or how many chapters I’ve read on a certain day. Forgive me for dealing with the Scriptures on a purely intellectual basis. May I come to your word with a heart that is seeking You above all else.   Thank you for your promise: “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13. Amen.

Fullness of joy

Sometimes it can seem as if a particular word keeps cropping up and for me lately that word has been ‘joy’. And I’ve felt like it’s something I really want but don’t really know what it really is or how to get it. So I’ve been meditating on this scripture:

You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

Psalm 16:11

And here I discover that it’s actually very simple. Joy is found in His presence. In a strange way it can seem easier to pursue joy by running around trying to do and get things that give me pleasure and minimise the things that I don’t like.

What if the challenge of finding joy was simply this: to say ‘no’ to some of the busy-ness: the ‘jobs’ that seem so necessary, the TV watching time that seems so important for relaxing, the social engagements that are so fun. What if it was simply to say ‘yes’ to Jesus. To sit quietly in His presence. To take time not just to blurt out all the things I’m struggling with and all the things I want him to do for me. But to take time to ‘be’ in His presence. To still my soul to listen to Him. To tune into His heart. To let myself know His love and power available for me right here and now. 

Jesus, forgive me for hunting for joy in all the wrong places. It is found in You. I come to You now. Show me the path of life – to walk with You through this life. Help me still myself now before You and to hear and receive what You want to show me. Amen.

Little things

This year I got to see both my two children in a nativity play at their primary school. It was called Prickly Hay and told the story of the stable boy who cleaned out the stable and put fresh soft hay in the manger for baby Jesus to sleep on. 

At one point he complains that nobody sees the job he does and that it’s not very important. But it turns out to have been very important because it meant that the stable was clean for Jesus to be born in and the hay was soft for Jesus to lie on.

Part way through the children sing a song with this chorus:

If you think you’re not important

For the little things you do

Just remember God above

Is very proud of you.

As an ‘at home’ mum with both children now at school, I have wrestled with feeling not important, not seen and that what I do is very ‘little’.

But this song reminded me of a quote of Mother Theresa that I used to have up on the wall:

‘Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.’

I was reminded again not to judge the importance of things by the world’s standards. God looks at the heart and little things done with great love are great things in His eyes. 

Jesus gotta be top of the list

I am a woman who writes lists. I always have a sheet of paper on the go that is a ‘to do’ list. Then I usually have another that is my list of what I want to achieve that day. I usually am too ambitious about what I want to get done and add things until the list is too long to accomplish.

But when  it comes to Christmas, I now get a notebook. A notebook of lists with a list of the lists it contains in the front!!  There is always so much to remember and do.

This year we taught the Sunday school children a Colin Buchanan song called ‘Jesus gotta be top of the list’ from his fantastic album Jingle Jingle Jesus.  The chorus goes like this:

Jesus gotta be top of the list at Christmas

Jesus gotta be top of the list all year.

This gets repeated a lot so it has got well and truly stuck in my head this Christmas. And it has really spoken to me and challenged me. I’ve taken to writing ‘Jesus’ at the top of all my lists. But the real place he needs to be ‘top of the list’ is in my heart.

Christmas is a time with many different expectations of present buying, card writing, party attending etc etc and it can get quite hectic.  And when things get busy, what gets squeezed out? Time with God? Patience with my children? Kindness to my husband? Peace in my heart?

If I can’t put Jesus top of the list at Christmas, when it’s supposed to be all about him, then how is he going to be top of the list the rest of the year?

Jesus, I want to put you top of the list in my heart now, this Christmas and all year. When I let other things crowd you out, will you lovingly and gently remind me. Thank you.  Amen.

The reluctant kings

This year I had the opportunity to help with the nativity service at our church and had the role of narrator. I found an excellent resource (The No-Rehearsal Nativity by Janine Gillion) which helped me devise a script where the narrator could interact with the characters and help them know where to stand and what to do or say. Most of the children taking part were 5 and under so we couldn’t expect them to know or remember what to do so it was helpful to be able to direct them and guide them through.

Three boys were born in our church in a short time frame and now all these boys are 1 year old. I cast them as the three kings.  There were lots of laughs as the parents tried to herd their toddlers round the church to follow the star. They were oblivious to the occasion and what was expected of them and kept running off, getting distracted or just refusing to go anywhere.  It was very sweet and got a good laugh. We sang an extra chorus of the carol to give them a bit more time to complete the journey and joked about the very long way the wise men had to travel.

But then came the point where they were back at the front of church and were meant to give their gifts. So the script now mentioned giving the gift of gold. Only one king had made it back so far to the front of the church with his mum, so I asked, “Would he like to give his gift now to Jesus?” to which the mum replied, “Not really.”  Another good laugh. Very honest. Yes, this little boy had his gift and liked it and didn’t want to give it up.

Then it came to the gift of frankincense. By now we had another toddler running around the front with one of the gifts so I invited him to give it. He remained oblivious, happily running around with his little bottle and his mum repeatedly trying to get his attention and get him to come and put his gift in the manger. Again, the congregation had a good chuckle.

Finally we came to the gift of myrrh. This king had refused to put his costume on at all and, having been forced to go round the church against his will, wasn’t going to go anywhere now!  We discovered then that his dad had a gift for amateur dramatics, and with the little cloak tied around his neck and the little crown balanced on his head, the dad came and presented the final gift at the manger to roars of laughter and applause.

I wonder to what extent I can be like these toddlers but in a much more subtle way. God has given me gifts – time, health, energy, resources, talents. How willing am I to surrender them to Him?

Jesus, everything I have has come from You. And yet I so jealously hoard things as mine.  I come now and bow, laying it all at Your feet. Take my gifts and use them for Your glory. Amen.

What can I give him, poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;

If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;

Yet what I can I give Him: give my heart.